23 Rolls of Film
by Katarin MoonStar
Summary: What would have happened if Sean hadn't tried to talk Craig out of running away? What if he'd gone with him? (slash CraigSean)
1. 1

Title: 23 Rolls of Film

Fandom: Degrassi

Pairing: Sean/Craig (pre-slash at this point, but there's subtext)

Rating: Rish(for now)

Summary: What if Sean hadn't tried to talk Craig out of running away? What if Sean had said 'yes' when Craig asked him to come with him?

            One of the first things Sean learned was that, once you've gotten used to it, sleeping on buses wasn't very hard. It was actually quite relaxing. As long as there weren't any small children on board and no old ladies were trying to talk his ear off, Sean noticed he could actually sleep through the night. He thinks they're somewhere between Tacoma and Eugene. It surprises him how easy it was to cross the border into the U.S. but Craig said it was what he expected; apparently the U.S. doesn't mind having Canadians just walk right into their country. It's kind of funny considering all the strict immigration laws here. They crossed over from Abbotsford, and no one even searched their bags.

It wasn't hard to get the border patrol to believe that they were just kids going to Seattle for the weekend ("It's a huge rock festival man; you should try and go down if you can. All the greats are gonna be there") and from there, they just kept moving South. Craig's sitting next to him now, trying to fix that damn camera. He obviously couldn't buy a new one, but it was a piece of normality, when everything is different, so he's trying.

_ "Hurry up man," Sean whispers heading towards the kitchen, "go get your stuff and I'll grab some food." He practically emptied that pantry of everything non-perishables that he could find, before stuffing them in his own duffle (pitifully empty even when every piece of clothing and every personal item he wants is in it) and quietly heads upstairs. Craig is in his room, clothes being thrust into his bag, Sean tosses his toothbrush and some toothpaste at him and Craig puts that in as well. He pauses over his camera, broken and ostensibly useless. "I could fix this." He says and looks at Sean, as if for permission. Sean just nods and Craig puts it in its case and looks inside, it's empty so he walks over to his desk. He pulls out 23 rolls of film, and puts them in the film holder of his bag. Then the bag goes into the duffle. "I'll be downstairs, Okay." Sean says and moves back out into the hall. He doesn't go downstairs immediately though, he sees the door to Craig's dad's room ajar and decides to go in._

_It's pretty Spartan, but Sean sees just what he wants lying out on the dresser…cash. It looks to be about $500 and Sean pockets it for use later. He knows they're going to need it because honestly? This is stupid. It's one of the stupidest things he's ever done, but Craig seems to really want to get away and Sean doesn't have any real reason to stay. Even if Emma was talking to him (which she isn't), even if his brother were a little less distant (which is never going to happen), hell even if his parents were still around, Sean thinks he'd still want to leave with Craig right now. Maybe he just met Craig a few days ago, but Craig needs him, really needs him, and Sean thinks he'd give anything to feel this way forever. He heads downstairs and just as he hits the bottom stair, Craig emerges from his room, duffle in hand, and gives him a soft smile. He comes down and they leave together, heading towards the bus station without even discussing it. They need to be away, far away, where none of this will ever touch them again._

Looking back, Sean has to laugh at his naiveté. As if running away would solve anything, but Craig looks happy or at least not sad and the further away from the border they get the closer to happy he gets. Sean thinks that by the time they reach Salem his smile might reach his eyes. He's hoping for a laugh by the time they reach Eureka. "I got it!" Craig exclaims, startling Sean out of his reverie and waking a few passengers. Sean smiles at the woman who's now glaring at them and turns his attention to Craig. "Smile," Craig says, before Sean is blinded by a brilliant flash of light. Sean wants to make some smart comment about being blinded or about how pissed the other passengers are to be woken up in the middle of the night by his antics, but Craig is smiling, really smiling and Sean can't bring himself to do anything that might ruin his mood. Sean grins back at him before yawning and Craig looks at his watch. "Wow," he whispers, finally noticing all the people he's just rudely woken up, "it's late." Sean rolls his eyes and stretches a little, before turning his head to lie against Craig's arm. Craig shifts slightly and Sean's head slips down into the curve of his neck. Craig lays his head on top of Sean's and closes his eyes.

Their money runs out in Grants Pass and they have to hitch across the Oregon-California border. They reach Crescent City on a Tuesday and Sean has to smile at the thought of Emma and Manny and Toby and JT freezing and slaving away in school, while he and Craig goof around at the beach. Craig runs straight for the waves, stripping as he goes, his clothes leaving a trail directly into the ocean. Sean saves Craig's jeans from being soaked and puts them in a pile out of the direct path of the water. He strips a little more slowly, enjoying the sight of Craig, smiling and laughing and playing in the waves. Sean pulls Craig's camera out of his bag and, after fiddling with it for a few moments, snaps a picture of Craig, just as a wave breaks over him. They spend all day in the water, letting out some of the tension from all the sitting and hitchhiking. When they're finally tired, they lay out on the beach, letting the sun dry them, and not really talking about anything. They keep laying there, long after they're dry and watch the stars come out. Craig tells Sean the stories of the constellations while they lay there, thigh to thigh and side to side, until beach patrol kicks them out. They sneak in under the barbed wire fencing of a nearby orchard that night, and feast on California fruit. Oranges and apples and persimmons and avocadoes, it's the first fresh meal they've had in days and Sean tries to savor every last bite. They fall asleep in the middle of the orange grove, citrus scent hanging in the air and only each other for warmth.

They make their way across northern California by day laboring. It isn't bad money, up to $100 a day if they both pick to the fullest extent of their abilities. The first few weeks are hard, so hard Craig doubts he'll be able to do it for much longer but, despite the fact that he feels the same, Sean forces him to keep at it. The days might be hard, but there's fresh Mexican food every night and the people are incredibly kind. Craig gets used to it and as they work their way through Chico, his body doesn't complain nearly as much as it used to. Sean's body stopped complaining long before Craig's, but it still is hard to wake up in the morning. They share a tent, if it can be called that, and the nights are a lot colder than they expected. Most of the people in this camp have their whole family here and they can all huddle together for warmth. Craig and Sean have to make do with each other for warmth, but Sean has to admit that it's nice to go to sleep knowing Craig's right next to him. It's comforting to know he'll be there when he wakes up, sleep rumpled and cranky, and familiar. This life is so different from any of the others he's had before, and having Craig to hold onto at night seems to be the only thing keeping him sane most nights.

They watch all the kids get ready to go of to school every morning as they line up for breakfast. It makes Sean think of Degrassi (he refuses to call it home) and whenever Craig sees one of the little girls skip off to school, he gets this far away look in his eyes and Sean knows he's thinking of his little sister. They never talk about it; they just eat their breakfast and engage themselves in whatever the latest camp gossip is. Sean never thought he'd get tired of Mexican food, but beans and tortillas for every meal for almost a month has severely turned him off the notion. At least he thinks he is until one of the women offers to show him how to make tortillas, and then he can't wait. He stands there, covered in flour, trying to roll out the masa into something resembling those circles all the women make while every one laughs. His cheeks turn a little red and then he sees the flash. Craig looks up from his lens, laughter dancing in his eyes, he looks… happy and Sean wants to hug him. He settles for punching him in the arm, "let's see how well you do man," he snarks and Craig just shakes his head and laughs some more. "No thank you, now that I have myself a little chica, I'd better settle down and start earning us a living. You can call me Papí if you want," Craig replies in a ridiculous Mexican accent, batting his eyelashes a little, before breaking out into more laughter. By now the whole camp has turned out to see the spectacle and Sean considers making flyers "white boy tries to make tortillas…one night only." But it's nice to laugh and it's obvious every one needs it. It doesn't change the fact that Sean's going to kill Craig first chance he gets, no way, no how.

They're coming up to Sacramento and they have to make a decision. The camp is about to split up, with half moving east towards Napa and San Francisco and the other half is moving south through Stockton and the rest of the Central Valley. Craig seems to want to set up shop in San Francisco, while Sean wants to go south and towards Los Angeles. "L.A.'s cheaper Craig, every one knows it; do you have any idea how expensive it is to live in the Bay Area?" Sean asks, trying to keep his voice down and failing, he wonders if Craig was always this free with his dad's money. "Must be nice," he thinks bitterly, before Craig cuts into his thoughts, "well if the cost of living is higher, the pay probably is to," he huffs. Sean stares at him for a few moments, "God you're naïve," Sean finally says, "don't you get it? Not only are we minors and therefore ineligible to work beyond a certain number of hours a week, we're also illegal fucking aliens. They could deport us at any moment, and technically we can't hold a job here in the U.S. without work Visas. We aren't going to be getting the kind of jobs where they care about things like the cost of living. I mean even I paid enough attention in Social Studies to know that they constantly have protests in order to get a 'living wage'. That's just the way it is. So we're going to L.A., where there a lot more jobs and it's a hell of a lot cheaper to live. Okay?" Craig looks back at him as if he's been slapped, and all the happiness that's been in them these past few months leaves him, "okay," he says and starts undressing for bed. Sean joins him, unlacing his sneakers, peeling off his jeans, and stripping out of his shirt. He's about to zip into their sleeping bag when he notices Craig is still standing there, ready for bed and not moving,  with his head turned away.

"Craig?" Sean asks while reaching his hand up to Craig's, "what's the matter man?" Then Sean sees them, tears, falling down Craig's face in little rivers, he pulls Craig down to him. He holds him for a second, rubbing his arms soothingly and Craig's silent tears turn into full out sobs and Sean just hold tighter, waiting until Craig's ready to talk. "Man, how do you NOT hate me? I dragged you into all of this and now we can't even afford to live anywhere. How are we supposed to get jobs to support ourselves? And what about school? I mean, I have seriously screwed us, and you don't even hate me. Why?" Craig sounds plaintive and earnest and Sean can't help but to hold him to him tighter "Craig," he says and his voice squeaks a little. "Craig," he tries again and it sounds much firmer so he goes on, "Craig look at me. This was my decision. I wanted this. You asked and I accepted; this isn't your fault. We're in this together right? I mean, I can do this as long as you're here with me, you're the best friend I've ever had Craig, are you in this with me? For the duration?" Craig looks at Sean with something akin to wonder before nodding his head, "Yeah," he says, "I'm in this with you. We'll do this… together." They fall asleep that night pressed tightly together, warmth radiating from their exposed skin. It's the best sleep either of them has had in months.

They work their way steadily through the Central Valley, until they get to Fresno, the work dries up there and they still have quite a way to go. Sean sits and counts money while Craig tries to puzzle out how they're going to get to L.A. All of his ideas are met with either snorts of derision or curt no's from Sean. Craig puts up with it for awhile then he loses his temper. "You the one who knows money right? Money and everything there is to know about California?" Craig asks him, "Why don't you figure it out?" Sean looks away for a moment, they're in a truck stop in Tulare, it's busy, Friday night, an idea comes to Sean, but he has to get rid of Craig for a few minutes. "Okay, why don't you try and find out how far away L.A. is and get us some coffee okay?" Sean asks him, praying he'll just do what he asks him to for once. "Okay, fine," Craig replies sulkily and heads inside. Sean immediately looks around, trying to find the perfect candidate, he'll only get a shot at this once, so he has to pick right the first time.

He finds him right away, he's perfect, not too big (in case he gets angry), not disgusting (and some of these truckers really are) and he looks like he could spare some cash. Sean knows what type to pick and he's actually good at this because his parents didn't always have money for booze and apparently renting him out was a better alternative than actually working. So he talks to him for a few moments, being coy and being flirty and making sure he knows that he can't talk about it around Craig and then the guy agrees, but he wants a demonstration. It doesn't take long, just something quick with his mouth, but the entire time he's doing it, he's imagining what Craig would say if he knew. Craig doesn't catch him though and he's so impressed enough with the fact that Sean found them a ride that he doesn't ask to many questions. They make their way out of the Central Valley and into Bakersfield with that first trucker. He just couldn't get enough of Sean and Sean can't decide if he should have some pride in his talent, or if he should be disgusted and insulted. He decides to be both, and picks up another trucker at the stop in Bakersfield. They continue moving south, into the desert, Lancaster, Palmdale, and then Santa Clarita, they're almost there and Sean figures he's made about $350 off the truckers, and they'll be able to put down first and last month's rent on an apartment.

It's night when they arrive in L.A. and it's beautiful. It's like the city is covered in jewels and he doesn't feel like too big a dork for thinking it when Craig actually says that out loud. They don't really have anywhere to go so they end up walking around for a while; they end up in a homeless shelter. "It's just for the night," Sean assures Craig, "tomorrow we get an apartment. With a bed," he adds, eying the cot critically. He's had worse though so he tucks himself in and tries to get some sleep. Hours later and sleep is still eluding him, he's grown to accustomed to having Craig next to him while he sleeps and it feels… wrong for him not to be here. Sean falls asleep eventually, but he tosses and turns all night. When they wake up in the morning, Craig doesn't look like he had a very easy time either. Sean ruffles his hair and starts to pull on his clothes. "It's time for apartment hunting," he says and grabs his stuff from underneath the cot. A flash of light from the side lets him know Craig's camera wasn't stolen and it doesn't take much to wrestle the camera away from Craig and snap a picture of his own.

The apartment sucks. It's actually worse than suck. There isn't a word in the English language (or the Spanish one that Sean or Craig know of, then again they aren't fluent) to describe the depths of suck that the apartment has. But it's only $250 a month with water and gas and it comes furnished and it's actually the best they've seen at that price. They have their own shower (only 3 out of the 10 places they saw had showers in the apartments. The others were communal bathrooms on each floor) and the stove seems to work. It's only 1 room really not including the bathroom, the "bedroom" is sectioned off by a sheet but the kitchen, the living room and the bedroom are all in one room. They have to put down $500 for first and last month's rent and $50 to get the power turned on. The bodega on the corner was selling Catholic Saints candles 5 for $1.00 so Craig and Sean bought 20 and a lighter, they don't need to have electric light for now, candles will do just fine. They have $125 and a month until the electric bill comes. It takes about 10 minutes to put what few belongings they have away, "Jobs tomorrow?" Craig asks and Sean nods. They strip for bed, blow out all the candles and climb in together. Sean sleeps much better than he did the night before. Things don't seem so bleak when Craig is lying next to him.

They don't get jobs right away. They actually go two weeks without knowing how they're going to pay rent at the end of the month. They go grocery shopping on their second day there ("can't look emaciated for the interviews man") and Craig arches an eyebrow when Sean heads straight for the dry goods isle. He hefts a fifteen pound bag of beans into the cart before moving on towards the cornmeal. A twenty pound bag of dry cornmeal and two ten pound buckets of lard later Sean heads for the checkout and Craig hurries to catch up. "Um man?" Craig says, voice pitched into a question. "Beans and tortillas Manning," Sean informs him, "it'll be just like the old days." It kind of is, in a gnawing hungry and constant feeling of impending dread kind of way. Sean makes beans and tortillas every morning before they leave to go job hunting and they return and have more every night, spirits low and appetites diminished.

Craig gets a job long before Sean does and it isn't actually a surprise to him. The restaurant owner took one look at Craig's boyishly handsome face and offered him a position as busboy. She sniffed distastefully in Sean's direction and stiltedly informed him that she only had one position open ("I'm afraid I don't have any use for you young man."). It isn't a surprise and the money's all going to the same place so Sean lets himself feel happy for Craig and tries not to sulk about his own poor luck in procuring employment. The fact that they have money coming in soon prompts them to splurge a little; they buy a few cans of tuna fish and a few cans of peaches to celebrate. Neither admits to how heavenly the peaches taste after so many weeks of tortillas and beans or how filling the tuna is when they haven't eaten meat in what feels like forever.

Craig seems to really like being a busboy but he isn't making enough money to keep them going for long so Sean increases his efforts to find a job. He can see the unease is Craig's face whenever he stops to do the math in his head and Sean feels guilty about it. He's down by the waterfront one afternoon (getting rejected once again) when a burly man approaches him. He's obviously a dockworker, he has the weathered face and solid build of the other men down there but he doesn't look menacing so Sean just waits for him to talk. He asks Sean for a blowjob. No preamble just walks up, looks him over and asks, "How much for a blowjob?" "Forty-five," Sean replies, eying him steadily. "I'll give you twenty-five," the guy answers and Sean snorts. "And I'll take your money, but if you also want a blowjob the price is forty-five bucks, up front and you can't cum in my mouth," Sean retorts. The guy laughs and reaches into his back pocket. He pulls out a twenty a ten and a five, "It's all I've got on me kid, take it or leave it." Sean takes it and as soon as he's out of sight of the docks vomits up his breakfast.

He gets a job the next day working in a warehouse near the waterfront. The pay is shit and the hours are worse but he doesn't feel as guilty about money as he used to. When money continues to be a problem (Craig still makes more than he does) he goes back down to the docks and looks for the guy. He doesn't find him but he does find plenty of others. They all haggle over the price and Sean ends up blowing guys for anywhere between twenty-five and forty dollars but Craig doesn't look desperate anymore when he looks over at the slowly dwindling food supplies. The days of canned peaches feels really far away and Sean wishes he didn't feel so dirty all the time. It doesn't help having to sleep lying next to Craig every night, inhaling his clean boy smell, sweat and soap and the ever clinging scents of the restaurant. Sean silently prays to god that he doesn't smell like cum and the ocean before falling into a fitful slumber.

He meets Mr. Morales by accident one Sunday when the warehouses were closed and Craig was working at the restaurant. He was walking from the bodega, laden down with cornmeal and lard when he overheard two men yelling at each other in Spanish. Sean wasn't completely certain what they arguing about but from what he could tell; they were fucking up what seemed to Sean to be a pretty basic engine tune up. He stops for a second to listen to the two of them bicker and shakes his head at them, grinning. One of them seems to notice and calls over to him, "Por que tienes una sonrisa bolio?" Sean laughs. "I'm just enjoying you two make a mess out of that tune up," he answers, stepping nearer. They don't seem like the type to get violent, despite the harsh words earlier. "Want some help?"

Mr. Morales comes out of the small house the garage Sean's working in is attached to and frowns a little when he sees Sean covered up to his elbows in grease. He snaps at the two guys in rapid fire Spanish that Sean doesn't fully comprehend but he gets the gist of; these guys are his sons and he's kind of pissed that Sean's fixing the car. While Sean's cleaning up, Mr. Morales walks up and introduces himself. They start up an easy conversation about the car Sean and his son's had been working on (a pretty recent model Toyota, not crap but nothing to write home about) when Morales invites Sean inside. Sean doesn't actually have any other place to be at the moment so after stooping to pick up his groceries, Sean follows him into the house.

It's small, and a little cramped, pretty old and the paint on the walls is peeling slightly. It's still a few hundred times better then what he and Craig have and Sean lets himself imagine he and Craig getting a place just like this in the future. He can just see Craig saving up money to buy posters and things to fill up the wall space and Sean smiles at the thought of it. Mr. Morales offers Sean a beer and Sean accepts. He enjoys the icy cold feeling of the can in his hands, the refreshing way it slides down his throat and the companionable silence between himself and his host before Morales clears his throat.

"So you know about cars huh mijo?" he asks Sean and at Sean's hesitant nod he continues, "My son's, they're good kids but they don't understand cars, no conocen, Tu sabes?" Sean nods again and Mr. Morales smile, "you though, you might be just what I'm looking for. I need some one, some one who's willing to work hard for me. I'll start you out with a job sweeping out the garage and doing maintenance on the building but I expect you to work on a car every so often. If that works out, and you're good enough, we'll see about maybe you getting hired on as a real mechanic. What do you think? You interested?" Sean doesn't actually have words to describe how he's feeling at this moment. He's always loved working on cars, he and his brother used to… anyways, he's always loved it and he used to imagine actually being a mechanic when he was younger. He had felt kind of stupid telling Emma and she seemed disappointed but Sean hadn't ever come across anything that he'd taken to as easily as cars did. He nods enthusiastically at Mr. Morales and shakes his hand.

"Now," Mr. Morales says once Sean's grin isn't threatening to overtake his entire face, "Cuantos años tienes?" he asks and Sean's face falls. "Eighteen," he lies and knows Morales can tell. "Honestly hijo, how old are you?" Morales asks in a softer voice. "Seventeen," Sean replies and at Morales' glare looks down at his lap, "fifteen sir," he answers, dread welling up inside him. "You go to school around here?" Morales asks him and Sean shakes his head, "you don't have to be afraid hijo, it's not like you have to worry about me calling la migra on you verdad?" Sean looks up at him, stricken and Morales looks at him questioningly. "Umm, I'm from Canada," Sean explains and Morales is smiling again. He says something under his breath in rapid Spanish that Sean thinks is negative… and directed towards Canadians; Sean pretends not to hear. He accepts the card Morales gives him, nodding sharply at Morales' command to be there "at 6AM sharp mijo," and leaves.

He tells Craig the good news when he gets home and despite how tired Craig obviously is he walks down to the bodega and buys Sean a small can of pineapples with what little he made that day in tips. They end up sharing it, passing the spoon back and forth while Sean tells Craig about how much he's always wanted to be a mechanic. Craig doesn't seem disappointed in Sean or his "small dreams", he looks happy for him, happy for them and when they fall asleep, Sean knows he smells like pineapples and corn tortillas, and snuggles a little bit closer.


	2. 2

Title: 23 Rolls of Film part 2  
  
Fandom: Degrassi  
  
Pairing: Sean/Craig Rating: R  
  
Summary: What if Sean hadn't tried to talk Craig out of running away? What if Sean had said 'yes' when Craig asked him to come with him?  
  
Mr. Morales pays Sean well, really well, so well in fact that Craig almost passes out when Sean comes home his first day. They're actually discussing the possibility of buying a small refrigerator and expanding the grocery list to include fresh meat on a regular basis.  
  
Craig drops by the garage one day when Craig is working on a transmission and Sean only knows he's there once he sees the flash. Sean just laughs and reaches out towards Craig. He's covered up to his elbows in transmission fluid and Craig tries to run away but before he can Sean throws his arms around him and gives him a huge hug.  
  
He keeps one arm thrown over Craig's shoulders as he introduces the rest of the guys in the garage. Craig just smiles, nods and shakes hands. He has a handprint on his face and Sean knows Craig's skin sometimes gets irritated easily so he pulls him into the employee's bathroom to clean it off.  
  
While he's trying to wipe the handprint off Craig's cheek, one hand holding Craig's cheek the other scrubbing for all he's worth, Craig tells him the reason for coming down here. Apparently he's found a small refrigerator in a thrift store down the street from where they live. It's actually pretty cheap and Sean knows they can afford it (if they he works a few extra hours and they go back to just beans and tortillas for a little while) so he agrees  
  
"All right!" Craig yells and does a little airpunch, Sean's still cleaning his cheek so it doesn't actually work out, "I thought we could afford it but I wasn't sure and you always seem to know this stuff... damn! We're gonna have our own fridge! We... I mean this is... this is important right? Like, this is an important step right?"  
  
Craig looks down at Sean and the intensity is a little much for a second. Sean can feel Craig's almost manic hope, feel how much Craig wants this to be an important step, needs this to be something big, something better. Sean never lets Craig down.  
  
He squeezes Craig's face, "Of course it is, I mean, this is something we could live without right?" at Craig's nod he continues, "So the fact that we are buying means we've moved beyond basic necessities. At this rate you might actually be getting a present for Christmas."  
  
It could be a painful moment there, a taste of what they don't have now and an icy touch of what they left behind, but it isn't. It seems like something to look forward to, a Christmas with just the two of them. Sean scrubs particularly hard to get the last bit of fluid off and Craig winces.  
  
"Big baby," Sean admonishes softly, rubbing his thumb over the offended skin.  
  
When Sean gets home that night the tiny fridge is humming softly next to the kitchen sink. Craig shows him the milk and lunchmeat and fresh oranges that are inside. Craig's so happy and Sean knows they can afford it so he offers to make them sandwiches for dinner. They wash them down with milk, drunk straight from the carton, and in the morning the sheets smells a little like bologna, but Sean can't bring himself to care.  
  
It doesn't take long or Sean to be promoted to being a full-time mechanic and the pay increase is considerable. They start buying ground beef and chicken and fresh vegetables and Sean enjoys learning how to make them into something resembling a meal. He's tired a lot but it's nice to come home and cook for them, moving around the kitchen and putting the food on real plates, he really starts to feel like home.  
  
"So I was thinking," Craig says one day when his tips are particularly good, "since we don't need my tips for anything like... vital, maybe we could do something special with them." Craig's voice gives him away, he's trying to go for casual but he's trying so hard it becomes immediately obvious to Sean that Craig really wants something.  
  
"Like what," Sean asks him, also trying for casualness, Craig knows him to well though so when their eyes meet it's intense.  
  
"Let's get the film developed," Craig says in a rush, "We could use them to decorate the apartment. We can't be bringing people here if the place looks this bad." Sean knows that last part is a bunch of shit, Craig might want to spruce up the apartment but not because he wants to bring anyone here. Craig doesn't even know anyone that isn't Sean or his boss.  
  
Sean's managed to make friends down at the garage but whenever Sean comes by Craig's work it seems like everyone hates Craig, like he has some disease that they might catch. So Craig doesn't want to invite anyone over, but he does want those pictures developed... badly.  
  
"I don't see why not," Sean tells him, standing up to put his plate in the sink. Craig comes up behind him and hugs him, long and hard and Sean lets his head drop back onto Craig's shoulder for a second before pulling away.  
  
"Thanks Sean," Craig says, moving to stand in front of the sink and beginning to wash the dishes.  
  
The answer comes to him suddenly while he's trying to fix the leak in the bathroom. Those pictures are all of them. Sure, there are a few of the day labor camp children and a couple of people on the bus and a few landscape shots but mostly they just have something like seven rolls full of pictures of the two of them, separate and apart. They used to make a game of how they'd display them one day, when they had a place to live and enough money to get them developed. It's the story of their life, their new life together and Sean can't stop himself from grinning, even as the pipe he's tightening together bursts and covers him in water.  
  
"Ass!" Craig yells from the kitchen, running in with towels and throwing them at Sean. While Sean's trying to sop up the mess and get his soaking wet shirt off he sees the flash of the camera. He chases Craig into the living room area and tackles him to the floor, wringing his shirt out over his head until Craig's as sopping wet as Sean is. Craig comes home a week later with seven envelopes full of pictures from the one hour photo lab next to the bodega.  
  
They haven't decided where to put them yet when their next door neighbor gets robbed in the middle of the day while they're both at work. It isn't a hard decision to make, they make enough money now and they own stuff, a refrigerator and some pots and dishes. It would be a really big deal if they got robbed so they go looking for a new apartment.  
  
They find one a few blocks over. It's closer to where both of them work and the neighborhood is nicer. Most importantly, the doors all have deadbolts on them and bars on all the windows. The only one they can afford (and it's a lot more expensive than the apartment they have now) is above a bodega and Sean knows they'll hear the bell over the door of the little shop ring at all hours of the night but Craig says he doesn't mind so they take it.  
  
It's still only a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment but the kitchen is situated in more of a nook so it feels like they have more than one room with everything in it. The furniture it comes with is nicer also and Craig doesn't feel the need to scrub at the mattress to thoroughly before sleeping in it.  
  
"Priss," Sean thinks to himself when Craig moves the mattress against the windows so it'll dry out in the sun. He stops himself though because really? Craig hasn't been prissy about anything in a really, really long time. Not since that last big blow up at the day labor camp near Sacramento. Craig really has grown up and it makes Sean sad to see just how much. Not enough that anyone who wasn't Sean would notice, but he is different, quieter and a lot more serious. It's why Sean really likes it when Craig gets photos developed, his whole face lights up and for a few minutes he's just like the old Craig.  
  
They establish a new rhythm, working and cooking and just spending time together. Craig gets a new roll developed every week and everything feels like it's looking up. Sean really should know better but he gets his hopes up, thinks this is where there lives start, where they pick up and move on.  
  
The new apartment, the safe new apartment with the deadbolt and the bars, gets broken into while Sean and Craig are at work. The fridge is stolen along with several of the pots and all the food. They buy a few more groceries and the necessary pots to cook it but they can't buy anything that will spoil and Sean can see in Craig's face how much he misses it. They eat quietly that night, subdued and a little sad. Sean's just glad Craig keeps the pictures under the mattress and they weren't taken as well. He knows Craig wouldn't be able to get over that.  
  
Inspectors from the county come to the garage on a Monday and Mr. Morales gets Ricky, the head mechanic, to get him out of the garage the back way. "They do this all the time," Ricky tells Sean, "Cabrones... they don't give a damn about building codes and work environments, they're looking for illegal immigrants and kids. Like you bolio, we've got papers and stuff for the other guys, we'll get some for you one day, but for now it's damn obvious you're underage so you can't be here. It won't be forever, call here tomorrow and they should be gone."  
  
The inspectors don't leave though. They stay the entire week and when they're finished they give Mr. Morales a list of things that need to be fixed and set up an appointment to check on the progress in a week and a half. They're careful to remind Mr. Morales that they can come back at any time though and Mr. Morales can't take the risk.  
  
Sean uses the payphone downstairs outside the bodega every morning to ask Mr. Morales if he can go in to work. He always get's turned down but Mr. Morales always sounds so sincere when he says, "Desculpe mijo, no necessito su ayuda hoy," so Sean doesn't think he's been fired. Turns out some one down at the garage is looking to pick up some reward money for reporting Mr. Morales and it isn't safe for Sean to come back until they find out who it is.  
  
Craig doesn't seem to mind being the sole breadwinner for the time being so they cut back on how much they eat ("tortillas and beans? You know there's something comforting about eating the same thing, day in and day out. Wait, did I say comforting? I meant annoying as all hell") and use the candles to light the apartment at night.  
  
One week the register at the restaurant is short and the owner blames Craig. He calls Craig into her office three times in a single week and tries to get him to confess. She doesn't believe Craig when he says he didn't do it and it's no surprise to Sean when Craig's fired.  
  
What pisses Sean off is the fact that Craig isn't given a paycheck for the last two weeks he worked at the restaurant. When he and Craig try to ask the owner for it though she threatens to call INS, CPS or both. She has just as much to lose from calling the authorities but Sean and Craig can't risk any one finding them so they let it drop.  
  
Craig tries to apologize but Sean won't hear it, "don't Craig. You didn't do anything wrong, he did. It isn't you're fault she's a bitch." Craig seems to accept that because they don't talk about it again. They wake up early the next morning and Sean takes them down to the warehouse district.  
  
It's as far away from the docks as he could find but he still worries about some one recognizing him. They're hired at the third place they show up at and they spend the rest of the day loading and unloading boxes. The work is incredibly tiring and they make almost nothing. They don't have the energy when they get home but strip and go to bed. They're up at 6:00 AM the next morning and after a call to Mr. Morales assures them that Sean isn't going to the shop today, they head back to the warehouse district.  
  
They run out of flour on Wednesday, they eat what's left of the beans on Thursday morning. Rent is due in a little over a week and this becomes a bigger problem when they're mugged on their way home Thursday night. Sean's stomach is making noises by Friday afternoon and by Saturday morning Craig's is joining in. Sean didn't think they'd get hungry this fast but apparently when you cut back from eating almost nothing to nothing, the body protests.  
  
It's Craig's idea to go to Church on Sunday. The warehouses aren't open and when Craig suggests it Sean stares at him like he's grown an extra head.  
  
"C'mon Sean, we wake up in time to get to 5:00AM mass at Cristo Rey then head over to La Madre de Guadalupe at 6:00, hell there are ten Catholic churches within a thirty block radius from here and they all offer mass services from 5:00AM until 1:00PM, I say we hit one every hour," Craig says, looking sure of himself.  
  
"Why the hell would you want to go to church?" Sean asks, bewilderment etched across his features.  
  
"Haven't you ever been to Catholic mass, Sean?" Craig asks. When Sean shakes his head, Craig rolls his eyes, "the Eucharist, Sean. They give out bread and wine towards the end of the service. The way I see it, we're going to have Sunday breakfast courtesy of the Catholic Church." He grins then and Sean has to admit that it's a good plan, any plan that involves eating food is a good one at this point, so he agrees.  
  
No one tries tp stop them and the little discs of unleavened bread aren't much of a meal, but it's the first food they've had in days so it tastes like heaven. ("I'm having a religious experience man") Sean should know better than to drink the wine (all the wine at every church) on an empty stomach, but it fills like water doesn't and it leaves him feeling better than he has in days.  
  
He can feel the buzz of the alcohol in his bloodstream by 10:00 AM and by 1:00 PM, Sean's pretty sure they're both absolutely smashed. They stumble home and lay on the floor, looking at the pictures they had developed when they had more money.  
  
It's warm outside and the wind blows hot air in through the windows. Some one has Spanish radio on and Mariachi music wafts in as well. Craig stands up and moves into the kitchen, tilting slightly. Sean hears the faucet run and when Craig reappears he has a glass of water in his hand.  
  
The cup is made of cheap blue plastic and they found it for sale along with a matching set of silverware, plates and cups for $2.50 in a thrift store. He watches Craig's throat work as he swallows the water. His eyes follow a trail of water that escapes from Craig's mouth and down his jaw and across his neck. It disappears into his t-shirt and Sean blinks when he realizes how long he's been staring at Craig.  
  
"C'mon Sean," Craig says to him, while reaching a hand down to haul Sean up, "I'm tired and we have to be up early tomorrow. Might as well sleep when we can." Sean nods and follows Craig behind the curtained off area that their bed is in. They're silent as they peel off their sweat damp clothing and slide under the sheets together.  
  
"Sean?" Craig asks him, turning over to face him. Sean looks across at him and looks at him questioningly, "Umm, are you drunk?" Sean laughs, throwing an arm around Craig and pulling him closer. He wrestles Craig underneath him and lightly smacks him in the head.  
  
"We are drunk, dork." Sean replies, emphasizing the we, "We drank all that wine on empty stomachs and now we are seriously smashed." Craig laughs at that, eyes closing and his smile directed straight at Sean. Sean gives in to it eventually and it isn't long before Sean's arms are threatening to give out on him he's laughing so hard.  
  
Neither of them flinches when Craig reaches a hand up to cup the side of Sean's face, rubbing his thumb along Sean's cheek bone. Sean leans down and brushes his lips over Craig's and Craig lets out a soft sigh.  
  
The sigh is like permission and when Sean presses in harder, Craig's mouth opens to him. He flicks his tongue in, tasting Craig and wine and it's been so long since Sean's even had a sexy thought that it tastes like the sexiest thing ever.  
  
Craig's thighs part and Sean lowers himself between them so that Craig's supporting most of his weight. He keeps kissing Craig, lets his hands tangle in his thick, dark hair and he starts undulating his hips against Craig's.  
  
Craig has his arms around Sean now, one on the back of his neck, pulling him in further and the other is on his hip, hand splayed across it and thumb rubbing at the bottom of Sean's belly. They stay like that for a while, Sean pressing Craig into the mattress and Craig pushing up against him.  
  
Craig pulls away first and uses the hand on the back of Sean's neck to get enough leverage to roll Sean onto his side. Sean rolls Craig with him and before Craig can say anything, Sean reaches his hand inside Craig's boxers.  
  
Craig feels hot in Sean's hand and when he moans and pushes back into Sean's hand Sean speeds up. Craig doesn't seem to know what to do so he wraps one of his legs around one of Sean's and just rocks himself forward into Sean's fist.  
  
Sean thinks about how beautiful he looks for just a second, before pulling himself out and jerking off in time to his movements up and down Craig's cock. It's awkward to use two hands when they're this close, so Sean let's go of his own cock and slides in closer to Craig.  
  
If he maneuvers himself just right he can wrap his fist around both of them and keep the perfect rhythm and pressure. He can feel the heat of Craig's cock as it slides next to his. It doesn't take long, with both of them gasping and thrusting and Sean's fist pumping them in synchronization. Craig comes first, shouting into Sean's mouth and pressing so hard against him Sean can feel his lips split. Sean comes as soon as he sees Craig slump against him, head on Sean's pillow as his tongue darts out and captures a small droplet of Sean's blood; and Craig smiles.  
  
It isn't hard to fall asleep afterwards, despite the fact that the sun's still up and it's hot as hell in their cramped little bed. Craig curls up against Sean anyway.  
  
It was easy to not make a big deal about it. With everything that was going on, it really wasn't that big a deal. They were still working in the warehouse district for next to nothing, it still wasn't safe for Sean to go back to work and he and Craig were still starving.  
  
The only thing that was different was a slight change in their evening absolutions. Instead of just stripping off their clothes and falling asleep, they'd strip completely out of their clothes, have sex and then fall asleep.  
  
It was never anything to strenuous, mostly just mutual masturbation and even that left them exhausted. Sean knew he was slowing down, knew that the lack of food was getting to him, but once he started feeling Craig's ribs jut into him while they slept curled together he knew he had to do something.  
  
"So, he's going to let you come back?" Craig asked him when Sean came back from calling the garage. Mr. Morales had answered him the same as always and it didn't even surprise him anymore, but he nodded at Craig while dressing.  
  
"I still can't work during the day, but he's going to let me come in after hours. I won't be making the same kind of money I was before, but every little bit helps right?" Sean replied, watching Craig dress out of the corner of his eye. It was even more jarring to see Craig's ribs in daylight, jutting out and disappearing under a shirt that used to be tight.  
  
"So, you're going to work down in the district all day and then go to the garage afterwards?" Craig turned to look at him, eyes wide and slightly reproachful. It might have made Sean feel bad about lying, if Craig didn't look so exhausted.  
  
"Yeah," Sean lied, looking Craig straight in the eye, "it's no big deal and this way we can afford food, so we won't get tired as easy as we are now." Sean turns away from him and hears Craig's zipper as it closes, not long after that they leave.  
  
It isn't hard to find guys who are willing to pay for it, not as late at night as he goes out. He just stands against the wall and lets them come to him, twenties in hand. It's harder to do it now, now that he'll be going home to Craig and he almost gags several times. The only thing that stops him from doing it is the memory of Craig's concave stomach and the noises it makes at night when he's pressed up against him.  
  
He won't let Craig touch him like that when he gets home. He showers and brushes his teeth and claims exhaustion and Craig believes him. He feels empty at night, laying next to Craig but not touching him, trying to keep his distance in case Craig can smell it over the soap and toothpaste.  
  
Watching Craig eat in the mornings, eyes closed and mouth stretching up into a smile, makes it easier, but only easy enough for Sean to be able to go out and stand against the wall for another night. He feels guilty when Craig moves closer to him in his sleep and he feels dirty when Craig's curling into him.  
  
"It won't be forever," Sean tells himself and tries to keep his arms from wrapping themselves around Craig. 


End file.
